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| Celebrating a pyrrhic "victory"! |
The thick "leader" of Sandwell Council is obsessed with twitter and so you must pander to his will and open an account.
2. Mention your love of the hard left:
eg Re-tweet: "RIP Tony Benn. First Bob Crow and then the veteran left-winger. Not a good week....."
3. Claim on your twitter profile that you live in "Sandwell" even though you don't:
Most of the highly-paid top officials in Sandwell Council do not choose to live in the People's Republic and when The Turdmeister held his statutory "business summit" this year only two apparatchiks turned up. They opined that no business executives would come to live in Sandwell - effectively because it was too shit! Presumably the leading officers feel the same way......
4. Praise Sandwell Council & knock the local authority where you do actually live:
eg. "Just got home. Sandwell roads clear Walsall like a skating rink" 04/02/12
5. Brown-nose Wealthy Watson MP:
eg. "@tom_watson your book is excellent. Haven't put it down since I got it via Kindle this morning" 22/04/12.
6. RT pant-wettingly funny tweets of Labour Councillors:
eg. RT Paul Sanders's "hilarious": "It is a little known fact that #shakespeare decided to end his tragedies as tennis matches until he was persuaded to rewrite them" (One for the home-made Christmas crackers surely!)
7. Don't boast about your modest, current, £120,092 per annum salary:
eg RT Paul Lewis: "Always thought it strange that you motivate the rich by throwing money at them, but you motivate the poor by taking money away" 27/01/12
No doubt our "candidate" won't be looking for a pay rise anytime soon!
(Although not sure if this advice was a bit "off-message" - "Word to the wise. A sports car at 50 looks great but struggling to get out make you feel old" 07/12/12).
8. Sucking up to any Labour figure will do if no-one in Sandwell around:
eg "@IanAustinMP Went to the school your dad was headteacher and taught by your mum. They were fab".
9. As The Turdmeister's whole world-view revolves around Sandwell pretend that anywhere else is "foreign":
eg. "planning to go to london 2morrow. will i get there" 18/12/10
10. Love The Baggies (Another Turdmeister Obsession):
eg. "We needed Roy Hodgson but delighted for Di Matteo. WBA have and still have the best. Well done Robbie."
"Saved penalty. Boing boing!"
11. Don't mention your employment highlights:
Even if you were one of the main-players in the £300 million Sandwell Labour BT contract disaster don't seek to claim the, er, credit. Everyone makes mistakes after all and one should ignore the colossal financial loss caused by Labour to the taxpayer and look for positives:
eg. RT Epic Women "A life spent making mistakes is more honorable than a life spent doing nothing".
How true, how very true......No doubt any "interview panel" will be "well impressed" by this!
12. If all else fails, place tongue between Kim Jong-Cooper's quivering buttocks:
eg. "@sandwellleader Your talk more sense than any of them. Don't ever underestimate yourself". 06/10/11.
THE SANDWELL SKIDDER - A COMMUNITY BLOG - READ THE SKIDDER, KIDDER!
E-mail: thesandwellskidder@gmail.com Twitter: @bcrover (Vernon Grant)
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