Sandwell's Shitter Shagging Shocker?????

DUE TO AN ONGOING LEGAL DISPUTE, A SATIRICAL, LAMPOONING FERENCE TO DARREN COOPER HAS BEEN TEMPORARILY REDACTED AS HAS A FACTUALLY ACCURATE DESCRIPTION OF HIM.

I do hope that you are not disappointed with this post after reading the lurid headline but I find it interesting what the motivation is behind people telling (apparently) tall tales (or "tails" as Cllr Cooper calls them). Why do they do it? What do they hope to gain?

A member of Sandwell Council's bloated and extremely expensive press office (paid for by us taxpayers, natch) has put it out that back in 2002 a well-known Sandwell Labour figure became so overcome with excitement at the Kremlin civic reception to celebrate the promotion to the Premier League of The Baggies that he escorted a young woman to the, er, lavatories where they engaged in sexual intercourse. How classy is that!

A Sandwell Labour Love Nest?

Alas I contacted the woman in question who absolutely denied this (although she did immediately contact the alleged other shagger who then told me this when I happened to bump into him at The Krem the following day). She said that the man in question had frequently flirted with her but that he was "all mouth and no trousers", although I am not sure if that was a particularly apposite choice of phrase in the circumstances!

So what were the "Rolls Royce" press office up to spinning us this yarn? Was it supposed to be some sort of rash attempt to paint the male as a figure full of vim and potency? If so, I am not sure fibbing of him bonking in the bogs really fits the brief but hey, this is Sandwell! Yet another mystery in the Oldbury cesspit, I am afraid.....

Of course, since I have been writing this blog dark forces have been at work and I have been fed false information on numerous occasions by certain anonymous callers. Fortunately, I try and double check things before I rush into print. Here the motivation is obvious - to discredit me - but what of this next story?

A very high-ranking Sandwell Labour Councillor was putting it about recently that the expenses-guzzling MP, Tom "The Rutting Walrus" Watson, came out of his time at Hull Uni without a degree. I asked Watson if this is true but "Mr Freedom of Information" won't say! Neither will Hull University. Why The Walrus won't say is another little mystery but, once again, what was the motivation for making this allegation in the first place? The Councillor concerned is, so it would seem, VERY close to The Walrus and so with Sandwell Labour now splitting asunder one would have assumed that he (and it is a "he") was in the Watson/Hackett corner. Which makes it all the more strange that he is seemingly trying to discredit The Great Man in some strange way. Perhaps all will be revealed in the fullness of time....

Then, of course, there is the Cooper house extension loan. The funny thing in this case is that it was the xxxxx-xxxxxxx xxxxx [factually accurate description of Cooper temporarily redacted] troll himself who was telling people that he didn't get the loan for his substantial extension from the bank but from another source. I have repeatedly asked him to confirm the alleged source or alternatively, if what he said was untrue, explain why he had been putting the false information about in the first place? But the motormouth "Xxxxxxxxxxx" [lampooning name for Cooper temporarily redacted] has clammed-up.

And clamming-up reminds me of the story of the serious accident a few years back outside Brandhall Labour Club. Shortly before an election it is said that Cooper parked his vehicle outside the club but that it rolled down the slope and hit a pedestrian causing him serious injury. The comrades, full of brotherly love & compassion, allegedly immediately agreed that it would all be hushed up so as not to impinge in any way on the election campaign (not difficult when local media like the Wolverhampton c*ck-suckers are on hand to do Labour's bidding). It seems that Cooper was eventually exonerated of any blame by those friendly guys and gals at Sandwell Police but it is the alleged conspiracy of silence that sticks in the craw when someone was injured. My informant told me that local MP Spellar was present at the Club but he has flatly refused to accept my invitation to confirm or deny this for reasons best known to himself. You might think it was something you would remember if you had been there.

As ever, further information on any of the above most welcome.

Incidentally the vicious thug, Cooper, recently said on Twitter that by asking him about the loan and the accident I made myself fair game for attack by him and the trolls. What a guy!

Funny old world, Sandwell Labour, isn't it?

Remember if you any information that may assist the police fraud team investigating possible corruption at SMBC you can contact DS Wayne Haynes & Team on 0121 251 2175.

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