In either an inspired grab for the honour or a monumental blunder, the only candidate so far - Sandwell MBC's brutish Darren "The Turdmeister" Cooper - has been actively out to play with a number of known Twitter troll accounts to drive me off Twitter and, in the process, to try and hamper me from locating would-be challengers.
He and the trolls managed to disrupt my Twitter activity recently and all burst into a chorus of celebration. The Turdmeister is trying to clean up his act on Twitter but in a sort of "Picture of Dorian Gray" situation, all the really nasty stuff is hidden in the attic. The (known) trolls are running riot but Cooper cannot resist joining in and actively following and/or retweeting them (though he doesn't have the b*llocks to personally retweet the seriously defamatory stuff). Thus he couldn't resist another semi-literate and rather Liverpudlian gloat on his own account:
Friday the 13th didn't turn out very good for some.. Never mind must be statesmen like."
 |
| Premature, er, celebration? |
When launching this prestigious national competition I mentioned that is has been ALLEGED that Cooper used to openly BOAST that he had never read a book in his life. I have prepared a possible "reading list" for him below but I am sure readers can also come up with their own suggestions - real or otherwise! May I suggest the twitter hashtag #turdybook ?
The list is below in reverse order but may I remind you all that the closing deadline for the competition is 12 noon on 1st April, 2015. If your Council leader is even thicker than Dazza, please e-mail your nomination (address below) NOW!
10. A nonentity is an undeniable hero in his own mind: The Secret Life of Walter Mitty - James Thurber (there was a close runner up here with the narcissistic Jay Gatsby losing be a short head!);
9. The Turdmeister is keen on dangling his worm around the Borough but in his monomaniacal pursuit of that mythical aquatic beast "The U-kipper" he shows traits of poor old Cap't Ahab: Moby Dick - Herman Melville;
8. A fantasist prone to immature decision-making: Billy Liar: Keith Waterhouse;
7. As Cabinet members at Sandwell Council resign and Cllr Hackett leads the insurgency against The Great Helmsman this title may be suggestive of Cooper's shrinking band of political allies (as opposed to the trolls he hangs out with): And Then There Were None - Agatha Christie;
6. Given his obsession with engaging with trolls and at about his "level": The Exploits of Moominpappa - Tove Jansson;
5. A leading character - Long John Silver - switches "sides" whenever he can to further his own interests (but does get away with it in the end....): Treasure Island - Robert Louis Stevenson;
4. Hoodlum reaches the upper echelons of the local "gang" (although the main character has an unhappier ending than the aforementioned unidexter): Little Caesar - William R. Burnett;
3. Given his sinister Twitter threat to me way back in October, 2013:
@bcrover We know who you are, big brother is watching you
this one is a shoo-in: Nineteen Eighty-Four - George Orwell;
2. Sandwell Labour have no opposition and we can do what the f*ck we like! No sin can affect the salvation of one of the elect: The Private Memoirs & Confessions of a Justified Sinner - James Hogg;
1. This one should keep him off his puerile Twitter account for a while and has a certain resonance ("Lol"): A la recherche du temps perdu - Marcel Proust.
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E-Mail: thesandwellskidder@gmail.com
Confidential phone no: 07599 983737
(Confidential reports to the fraud team currently investigating Sandwell Council - 0121 251 2175 - DS Wayne Haynes and Team).
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